2003-05-27 23:54:31

I reiterate my belief that umbrellas are complete useless inventions. I suppose they come in handy when trying to ward off aggressive magpies or the next door neighbour, but when it comes to keeping one dry, they’re as adept at keeping out the rain as a toothpick is. Yet everybody uses them, even though they all get soaked from the waist down. The umbrella industry must be making a killing! A stick with a flap of canvas on top, sell it for $20. Why am I bothering with a Ph.D when I could make a comfortable living selling umbrellas to people? I’ll be contemplating that very question today while I sit here at my desk with wet jeans and wet shoes.